Look at me mom… I’m my own boss now!
Holy smokes this has been a monumental couple months! After 2 years dreaming, soul searching, visualization, planning, studying, practicing and working at it I have taken the idea of being a yoga teacher from a thoughtful wish, to a part time thing, to a full on job! I’m still a little in awe. This thing that has been my saving grace, my unfolding and my portal to understand myself and the human condition… this thing that has fully consumed my life, has now also become my primary job and daily focus. I don’t use this term lightly, I am blessed.
But there is a lot more to it than I could have ever guessed, not simply because I am now figuring out how to teach so many classes in a week of various styles and lengths in multiple places… that part keeps the pragmatic side of me satisfied with the planning and time management and such, but like any contractor I am having to make the hard choices of how much to pack onto my plate, while still allowing time for planning and preparing, advertising, administration, teaching the classes themselves and having a bit of a life outside yoga. The really cool thing though is that for the first time in a very long time I care so deeply about my job that I find pleasure in the way it has more or less taken over my life. It’s a pretty big deal!
When I left my job in film 2 and some years ago a woman I had worked with on many productions asked me what I planned to do next? At the time I really wasn’t sure. She asked me if she could offer some advice? She said whatever I did next should be something that I could fully invest into and put my whole heart into.. because I did that anyway. It was a lovely thing to say, and now that teaching yoga has become my primary gig I’d have to say I think of that conversation almost every day. In truth, I didn’t think it was possible to do something for a living that could appeal so deeply to my heart and my deep want to connect with people. The best part about teaching yoga is that I not only get to do that (connect with others) but I also get to help people connect with themselves. I get to see people experience some really amazing ‘aha’ moments and that it is a true honor.
I’ve always wanted to be my own boss, and though I haven’t quite caught my stride yet with full confidence in what I’m bringing to my classes each day I am pleased to have the burning drive to grow and learn, improve and refine and figure it out. I’m finally learning in this life of mine how to set boundaries with how much I am willing to take on. I’m learning to grow thicker skin so I don’t spend as much time stressing about things I can’t control, like whether my classes were what people wanted. If they were fast or slow enough… challenging enough.. too routine or predictable??… One of my teachers told me once “We need to acknowledge what our gifts are and teach from there. The class you teach wont speak to everyone, and that’s okay. Share all that you know and teach from the heart and you’ll be fine.”
I am humbled by the opportunities I have been presented with and try my damndest to remain aware and grateful of these opportunities (not to mention the amazing man in my life who helps support me as I do these things) each day. And when the days come around, as of course they do, when I feel tired and grumpy or low energy and have that “I don’t wanna go to work feeling” I make myself sit down for five minute to practice what I preach… spending a few moments reconnecting with myself, with my ability to breath and feel and become really sensitive. As I take the time to welcoming myself back to myself I can almost always find that underlying gratitude, even if it’s a layer or two deep. And when I get hung up on where I am going with this new “career” and if it’s what will be best for me in 5, 10, 20 more years I try to simply smile at myself… life will change and I will change and things will unfold, as they do for all of us. No matter how many plans we make the one thing we can be certain of in this life is that change will come, but for right now… I’d have to say that teaching yoga for a living is pretty awesome!