The Process – The Work Will Show Us How
Far too often we wait to share anything – any personal news, development or achievement, until everything is “just so”. We have created this false space (particularly online) where we aren’t sharing our process, our flaws.
I am learning to trust the idea that the work will show us (show me) how to do things. I believe that our processes are so beautiful in their glaring imperfections and that by taking more opportunities to share my process and growth, all my glaring imperfections, I can create opportunity for many more “me too” moments, more connection.
As I mentioned in my last post, I have been ‘talking’ about creating an online yoga studio, video classes available by subscription, for about a year now.
I made a few videos for a series I taught 2 years ago and I hid them away on a hard drive. The production value of them is not great, which I suppose should have been expected since I shot them on a first generation iPad in a room with no lighting and added some narration with the onboard mic of my computer. The “filmmaker” in me, that I feel like I left behind in another life somewhere, should know better. The sheen of the videos is rookie, but the classes themselves, they are okay. When I look at what was produced it shows me where I need to grow… AND that the work will show me how to do it.
Coming to peace with this should be enough to gain some momentum and get going. But there is something else… making yoga videos, with myself as the subject, mean that my own physical practice will be on display, ugh!
When I am leading a class in a real life studio setting I am not very concerned about the perfection of my own practice. The point is less what my physical practice looks like, beyond base critical alignment, and much more about my ability to lead the class and cue the poses effectively so they are internalized by my clients. My intention when I teach is that the practice will give us much to look at, through our physical bodies, our busy minds and our craving and curious hearts.
MY physical practice has certainly ebbed and flowed over the years, but there is probably nothing else in my life that has shown me what consistent work can effect and change like committing to physical asana. So, if making videos of my yoga classes is truly a priority, than making time to get back on the mat and challenge my body will certainly be a part of that process and growth. The work will show me how to do it.
So what about these videos that I made a couple of years back – hide them away and wait for the shiny ones that will come? Pretend like I have always been good at making them without having to go through a re-learning process, without any work?
Nope – I’m putting them online.
These videos (that I am slightly embarrassed of) show me there is always room to grow.
They show me perfection is an illusion.
They show me that even when we know better we will still stumble, that we can’t take the easy route and assume it won’t matter.
If you’d like to follow along to a few video classes you can find them here. There are 2 moderate vinyasa flows and 1 short stretch sequence.
I’m posting and sharing these because they remind me there is always work to do, always places we can grow.
I trust that the work will show me how.
Stay tuned for the Inner Roar online studio in 2018!